Sky - bind
What if I was something less defined?
Like the morning mist that exists for the single purpose of birthing life into the universe. Or the flushed summer light mirroring the momentous joy of a stray leaf’s unbounded existence. Maybe I’d be a marvelous gold embroidery bordering the setting sun, living briefly but ending everyday in one glorious moment.
It would surely explain a lot, this heavy nothingness.
My sanity, much like the sky’s colors, seems to be highly mercurial these days. As if I were only an exterior form of something that is unbounded by the immobility of a grounded being.
It’s as if my own flesh had fashioned the bond – to let the sky live unleashed while I partake in a seemingly normal chaotic existence. Where my changing moods are defined as manifestations of the temperamental heavens. Cheeks capable of the occasional blush, as if painted using a palette materialized from the sunset sky. Sighs of relief blowing through me like the spring breeze dancing through new leaves. And much like the sun’s sluggish descent on summer days, my time seems to now extend for too long and the night’s respite too brief.
I periodically thrive in-between the thunderous roars of the evening storm, as lightning flickers and dances above me. A violent release that demands attention so absolute that it streaks through the sky to appear infront of you and a thousand others. My face often mimics how the sky gets pitch black, with my eyes like clouds waiting to pour at the slightest nudge. And sometimes, they have been known to glint like the diamonds adorning clear night skies. Sometimes.
Maybe I can hold the sky responsible for my now unsettled disposition.
Like a sleeper burrowed under layers of imagined security, I had forgotten that along with light comes the shadow. That the most fervent search for happiness only arises out of depths of incomparable desolation. And that a being as joyous and vibrant as the expanse above me had to have its own demons that appear at nightfall.
Maybe that’s why the days are so long now.
To keep the demons away.